i smelled this certain kind of hairspray in the bathroom at work that really sent me back to sixth grade and abbie gullickson and her freaking girbaud jeans and her crush on this boy who drove around her neighborhood in a golf cart. why is smell such a strong memory jogger?

also, the doctor said i can go ahead and have the baby any time now! the baby's done. it's just getting fatter in there so it can stay warm out here. i think we'll hang on to pregnancy a little longer. i like it, and brian has volunteered to tie my shoes for the duration. plus it makes me sad to think my nice pumpkin belly is going to turn into a puddle of fat. not that anyone's going to look at my belly once we have a cute baby to make faces at. but still.



this is how my belly looks from my point of view, at 34 weeks (a few days ago). see my cute puppy hiding under my chair? Posted by Picasa



tomorrow is july 19 - one month from the day i think the baby is coming. it's marked on our calendar at home as NO TV DAY. that's right. tomorrow i temporarily say goodbye to tv while i mentally prepare for my baby's birthday. i don't need some fast food jingle replaying in my head while i'm in the middle of some super holy moment. that's what happened to andrea on a vision quest - her dreams were all cluttered up with tv commercials. but man, i hope there's something good on tonight.



my cousin cortney, my puppy camus, my belly and i had plans to go to the swimming hole friday, but we were rained out. instead, cortney made a delicious picnic and we sat on big rocks by the lake (in two harbors). camus stayed at my grandparents' house with his friends, chance and bob. it felt so good to get a little bit chilly in the breeze. other people were around, but not right near us. we just sat and talked (and pigged out a little).

we're all making plans for my grandparents' 50th anniversary in august. it's pretty amazing to me, what we're celebrating. i've always thought of an anniversary as being only about the couple, but in this case i'm thinking a lot more about the result of their marriage, since i'm a part of it. ed and doris have five children, bruce-barry-cyndi-ken-greg. they have 16 grandchildren right now, but greg (their youngest) has just started his family and plans to have at least one more. they have one great-grandchild (and hopefully only one at the time of their anniversary, because i really want to go to it, and not with a newborn). so altogether, counting ed and doris and all their offspring and spouses, their family is 32 people. if we were having a little more sex (or being a little less careful) we totally could have made it to 50 - i've got plenty of cousins of childbearing age. and it all started in a tiny trailer, parked in my great-grandparents' yard, where doris tucked her baby, my dad, into his dresser drawer every night. i'm not kidding.

anyway, it also makes me sad. this big event seems to be rounding things out for them, and it makes me feel like the way i grew up is really ending. it's getting too complicated for everyone to get together at christmas, in the house they built together in the woods. i don't think they even want to live there anymore - it's too much work for 70-year-olds. the littlest cousins aren't going to play in the crick or those woods or up in the barn. they won't even know about it. not that they'll be deprived. it will just be different for them, and they won't know what it was like for us. i suppose we don't know what it was like for our parents to actually live there, when they still had chickens and horses and their life there was about working rather than playing. and i guess some other family will live there. i hope they sit and sing in the livingroom, and walk to the culvert to pick raspberries, and i hope they find the swimming hole and notice how many stars you can see in the winter when the air is cold and clear.



i have discovered the STALL OF DEATH! brian and i met for lunch at this deli crap (i'm never going there again because their menu tricked me into thinking stuff sounded good but it would have been way better if i made it myself) and i was a little early so i ran to the bathroom on the first floor of the so-called tech village. i walked into this bathroom stall that was so long and narrow i felt like i was walking through a tunnel. the toilet was installed way over to one side, for some reason, and the toilet paper roll thing was on the wall on that side of the stall, almost blocking my approach. you can imagine me, with my gigantic balance-eliminating pouch on the front, trying to back up, swerve around the toilet paper thing, and land on that toilet, all at the same time. only half my ass hit the seat. i had to use the wall to push myself over. it was terrifying, and once i was all the way to that end of the stall, looking toward the door, the tunnel seemed more like a pit i fell into. so now you know. just use the bathroom in pizza luce.



i wish i were sleeping right now, and i want someone to take a picture of my big belly.



i don't know where i got the crazy idea that the room would be done last weekend. there's still a lot more work even before painting can happen, and after that it still won't be ready to become a cute little nursery. maybe this waiting stuff isn't so bad though - i've been waiting for an hour and a half to fall back asleep. i gave up. i'm glad i got out of bed because i finally made the juice that's been in the freezer for a week, yum!

it was so nice to have a long weekend. on monday instead of working, i took a nap, sat in the back yard with the puppy, reading in the shade, made eggs benedict arnold (no meat!), took another nap, went swimming, ate a lot of taco dip and fruit salsa . . . i wish i could do that every day.

one of my coworkers moo-d at me yesterday. i was like, i moo at you. what the hell? what does that mean for someone to moo at me, anyway?


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