sometimes i think i know exactly how something will be, but it's really not.

so brian is on his trip now. i thought i was gonna have soooooo much fun, but when it came time for him to get in the van, i didn't want him to go.

i also thought i was going to be able to do whatever i want. well, no. i had fun plans yesterday (afternoon & dinner). i ended up spending the day on the couch, feeling gross. and i don't really want to go anywhere at night during the week - i just want to get straight home to rescue my puppy. he's used to spending the day with brian, not in his kennel. i'm going home at lunch time to take him for a walk, but that's only 1/2 hour of play time for him. he's gonna hate me when i put him back in!

i got brian one of those pay-as-you-go cell phones (so you don't have to sign up for a year or whatever) so i can call him whenever i want, rather than waiting for him to call. i'm so needy.



i have two items.

one is that my sister-in-law saw me on the ellen show last week. like, close-up. i guess they were talking about how cold it was here, and amy said she could see my breath, and i was all huddled up in my orange jacket. it was when my car wouldn't start and i was getting a jump, and i just thought the tv people were from channel 3. they didn't talk to me.

the other is that we had a doctor appointment today and we got to see baby bubble's little arms and legs waving around. what a wiggler.

oh, okay, one more is that brian is helping low haul stuff & set up. he is not, repeat, not the nanny.



some people like to analyze the way names go together as in first-middle-last. i prefer to think about the way a group of names sound together in a family, like george-jane-judy-elroy. (astro&rosie.) like, i guess i can't really say i'd analyze it, i just like to decide, do i like this combination? like, here are a couple of my friends' families. rudy-marykay-melissa-andrea-karah. i mean, melissa ruins it. if melissa was never born, their family would be rmak. now it's rmmak. that's so lame. rmak would have been so cool. okay, jim-pat-sarah-eric. i like that one. jpse. gypsy. so far, me & brian are bm. that's not so great. say we pick a baby name that starts with a b. bmb - we're the bomb! that would be way better than bm. i mean, anything would. does anyone else have a suggestion for a baby name that would improve our family initials? you don't even have to come up with the name itself, even the initial would be cool. justin-amy-maya. jam. i bet maya will be like "i want some jam" when she can talk, and plus my brother likes, um, jam bands. somewhat. but it's not all about the initials, it's also just the way the names sound together. like greg-sandy-andrew-zach. i like that combo (my uncle&aunt&twokids). george-jane-judy-elroy. see? or am i crazy?



yesterday i read this city pages article about stephanie winter of stephanie says and formerly of the legendary jim ruiz group. (as a kid, i thought it was the legendary jim reece group. i'm so lame.) anyway, i was really fascinated by the article, winter's story, and pete scholtes's verbal portrait of her, especially her mannerisms (and, okay, the beautiful photo), but i have a hard time believing i would love this record.

when i was little, i thought the hang-ups were really pretty and i thought the legendary jim ruiz group was super cool, not even necessarily because of the music but because of the buzz. it was really affectionate buzz, like when the mayor declared ljrg week or when there was some change to the u of m system that would eliminate career students, i think jim ruiz was mentioned as one of the last great eternal students at the u. also, i called radio k to get non-highway directions to seventh st entry when i wanted to go to a show but was not allowed into minneapolis unchaperoned and was also afraid of merging traffic (all of which i think i've told before) - the dj gave me directions and then played a ljrg song for me about, and possibly titled, minnetonka. i adored it and i really appreciated how it mocked my suburban ass.

but would i like that stuff now? i have an owls album. i think it's pretty, but i don't really get much out of it. i'm worried that's how i would feel about stephanie says as well, especially after hearing little snippets of it this morning on the way to work. freaky! that's right - i had two super special and fun teachers named stephanie hemphill and catherine winter, they both work for mpr, and then i heard a story about stephanie winter on mpr. why do i get so excited about stuff like that? anyway, i hope someone else will listen to it and tell me whether it's actually good or just nice.



assorted fruit-flavored tums. delicious.



i had a dream last night that made me remember a word my friend andrea made up - unvited. (this is totally different from "uninvited" when you ask someone to come over and then take it back.)

andrea and i lived 50 miles apart, or an hour by hwy 7, so in the summers we only saw each other at most once a week in the summer, but a lot of the time it was two or three weeks. oh, and that's only after we could drive - the first summer we were friends i bet we only saw each other four or five times total. also this was before normal kids had internet access at home. i didn't even know what the internet or email was - my mom tried to explain yahoo to me for a homework assignment and then i learned about email like my senior year of highschool (97-98). so we wrote each other long and beautiful letters. sometimes the letter itself wasn't so long but they were always very full of something, collages, drawings, poems or other people's poems and things like that.

anyway, she wrote me this letter from camp (yes, camp! when she was 15!) about how allan silvester ripped the collar of her puma t-shirt trying to get at "unvited goods." he was an ass and a canadian. andrea often made up words and spellings, much like brian. (buety and getar are my favorites of brian's - both andrea and brian are consistent in their alternate spelling. andrea always wrote "dose" for "does.") unvited is such a useful word though because it doesn't have an easy, one-word substitute. like, we generally used it to mean sort of not offered, not mutually agreeable, but not exactly just that. don't tell me it just means nonconsensual because that's not it at all. and don't tell me it's already a word because i'll be super pissed. i also like that letter because i have special memories of the puma t-shirt, which was in my possession the following summer. the rip was only like 1/4" and made it that much hotter.



yesterday we went to the life aquatic with steve zissou. it was great. my new favorite phrase is a bun in the oven, as in, "you think it's cool to hit the sauce when you've got a bun in the oven?" so that made me think about other pregnancy euphemisms. these are some of my favorites i've found, but some of them seem too negative to be considered euphemisms which i always thought were supposed to make something sound better than it is.

in the family way
knocked up
eating for two
in the club (or in the pudding club, supposedly pudding refers to man juice in england)
in trouble
up the duff (i've never heard this one used)

so i want to know if anyone else has a good one. my boss has been telling people the rabbit died. what the hell does that mean? does it just mean i've got a bun in the oven, or does it specifically refer to my birth control failure? she has all kinds of bizarre sayings.


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