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7.05.2006


this is klausie when he was one day old.

i volunteered to transfer, sort and burn 18 months worth of pictures (about 700) of my dad's so i could have his pictures of klaus and especially this one. he's computer-phobic, i guess. he switched back to his old-school camera because the card in his digital camera was full. i kept telling him you just plug it in and the pictures transfer, but he kept saying he didn't know how. i suppose someday klaus will think i'm a technological neanderthal too.

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flashback to klaus at three months. he was so soft. this was before he figured out how to laugh out loud. his face and body would laugh, but not his voice. brian and i would tell stories about him and say "he was laughing so hard" and then remember that he was silent. sometimes it blows my mind how much he can communicate without talking. i'm pretty sure he told me a joke tonight in morse code with his toe.

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6.30.2006


klaus has six teeth now, and he can point. i get really happy when he points at me. he figured it out on father's day.

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all-time favorite typo:
beastfeeding

today someone warned me that if i don't stop 'mother henning' klaus he's going to 'turn out gay.' i was like, do you seriously think i would have a problem with that? not to mention that's not how it works and - most importantly and this is my main point here - I AM NOT MOTHER HENNING HIM. not a mother hen.

and yes, it was the same person that told me to get on with the spankings already.

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target has this baby shirt right now with a picture of a bottle and the words 'formula for success' on it. i get that it's a play-on-words kinda but . . . how can people not take that as saying formula is the way to go? and then, maybe i already ranted about this but i can't get over it - the 'natural feeding' thing. did i tell you about that one already? let's assume not. okay i was shopping at target and they've condensed the baby stuff all into one area, so i was getting familiar with the new layout and reading the signs at the end of each aisle. i was totally perplexed by the aisle labelled 'bottle feeding' and 'natural feeding'. uh-duh! they meant 'breastfeeding' but apparently you can't put up a sign that says 'breastfeeding' at the end of an aisle filled with breast pumps, breast pads, nipple cream and, um, nipples.

maybe all i talk about lately is boobie milk but it's seriously a major part of my day. and night. i don't think the topic of diapers would be an improvement.

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6.21.2006


i've been enlightened. klaus is "not too young" for a spanking.

of course, i don't plan to spank that precious little bubble butt - not as a punishment anyway. i spank, squeeze and pinch it on a regular basis just because it's so darn cute. the best is when he's riding in the sling and i just get to hang on to his tushie while he drools and points at ceiling fans. speaking of slings, klaus totally nursed in his sling while we stood in line at cub today. it was awesome. someday we'll be in line at the grocery store and he'll be a big kid whining for a twix or a lighter or something, and i'll be wishing for these days when it's just so easy.

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cutest boy at the birthday party

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according to the take-home information i received at klaus's most recent doctor visit, at this age babies manipulate their parents by crying, eating or refusing to eat, smiling and looking cute. if i believed that, i would be in a serious panic right now because klaus is always doing two or more of those things. according to the same worthless piece of paper, weaning "cold turkey" could be uncomfortable for me. no mention of how it might make klaus feel.

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why can't bad advice ever die?

i had this girl recently insisting to me that sometimes it really is a good idea to give rice cereal to a newborn. i explained why it's not, and she explained why it is: so bigger babies (like klaus was) can stay full longer and won't need to eat as often. um, think about it. that is for the parents' convenience, not the baby's well-being. yet she heard it from a medical professional, so it must be in everyone's best interest, right?

then i had this guy telling me that if/when i get pregnant again, i have to wean klaus. i asked him what makes him think that. it's absolutely not true, although it is fairly common for nurslings to wean themselves during their mothers' subsequent pregnancies because the milk changes and/or decreases and some nurslings don't like that. "it would be bad for the baby," (meaning the fetus, not the nursling) he said. not true. the fetus gets first dibs on mom's nutrients, then the nursling, then mom. plus, a toddler is usually down to a couple sessions a day, not nursing around the clock like a newborn. well, my research is out the window - he knew he must be right because a "lactation person" told his wife that.

this kind of thing bugs me because i know how shaky it is to trust your insticts as a new mom because you don't want to screw up your kid, so you turn to your friends and family for advice and oh boy, are they ready with it.

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6.17.2006


something happened last night. i tucked klaus in with the blanket i had made for him a few days before he was born. the blanket is basically two pieces of fabric sewn together, a front and a back. the front is part of an old light blue sheet, and on that i sewed ribbons and rick-rack and crap like that and a couple little cute pieces of fabric, in bright colors of thread. the back is a piece of light blue flannel printed with raindrops and umbrellas in pink, red and green. i hadn't touched the blanket for nine months.

when we came home from the hospital, i didn't come downstairs at all the first day. i knew my mom wanted me to not go up and down the stairs, so i just stayed up there with my baby, sleeping, nursing, and eating what my mom brought up for me. the next day i planned a trip to our living room. i mean, i was seriously going batty. i'll never be an elderly shut-in because i'd kill myself in a matter of days. so anyway, i was on the couch with my big boobs (it was the day my milk came in) and my mom was folding laundry - the "boy" clothes people had brought to us at the hospital. somehow my blanket was in the laundry. i felt so stupid when i saw it. klaus had plenty of cute, perfect store-bought blankets, plus a few beautiful afghans and quilts hand-made by people we love. why would he want to use my cruddy blanket? i was ashamed of it. the rick-rack curled up in the dryer, everything was askew and one edge was top-stitched instead of having a hidden seam. it just looked really sloppy and . . . not good enough. i buried it in the bottom of a basket in the corner of his room, behind my rocking chair.

so it was kind of strange that as i tucked in my boy last night, i made the effort to pull out that blanket. he already had two in his crib from the night before, but he has a little cold and i thought the flannel would feel good against his skin. it's still not a cute blanket. but last night, for some reason, for him, it seemed like the only one that would do. it felt really good to me too.

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6.14.2006


my mom will be 50 on friday. when i emailed her a million beautiful pictures of klaus in our backyard (seriously i took approximately 1 million pictures exactly like this one) her only response was "i want to know if your boy is wearing girl clothes in those pictures." perhaps in her old age she has forgotten that she most certainly dressed me in my brother's clothes and apparently no one gave her the memo that BABIES DON'T CARE.

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klaus's third tooth busted through today. he is "cruising" now - for all you non-parents that means he grabs onto furniture, pulls himself up to standing, and then shuffles along the piece of furniture with those sweet marshmallow feet of his. soon he will be walking. when we play dance music (actually any music or clap our hands) he bounces his little body up and down to the beat. so awesome. he eats whole pieces of fruit (including the skin) and lentils and graham crackers. he's like a mini adult! at his nine-month check up last week, his doctor called him capable and handsome and said he looked very mature for his age. he didn't cry when the nurse poked his finger. that's right, my baby continues to rule.

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recently i walked into a room where someone was saying, "opinion should be based on fact" and turned to me and snapped, "right?"

i just said, "uh, i don't know." i've been thinking about the idea a lot though, and i've decided no, opinions should not be based on facts. opinions are all about feelings and experience. my opinion of a person, place or thing are all about how they make me feel, and my emotional reactions to them are based on my previous personal experience. am i wrong here? i could make a long list of negative facts about my best friends, my neighborhood, my favorite paintings . . . it's often not possible to get all the facts about anything, so we just have to trust our guts.

but opinions aren't limited to personal preference, so what about things like political crap? again, it's often not possible to get all the facts. add on top of that all the bad information out there. we may like to believe we form our opinions about non-personal stuff based on the facts, but i don't think that's really the case. this is why i think our education system is such a wreck. we're so focused on facts and "measurable" progress that we overlook the skills and assets we really need in order to evaluate a given situation and make a good decision.

no, klaus, this does not mean you will be a home-schooler.

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5.28.2006


today, just now, in the car, i was listening to yesterday's 'a prairie home companion'. i wondered why garrison keilor's reading voice makes me weep with joy, since i used to find the show so annoying. well, even when i claimed not to like the show, i always loved 'the news from lake wobegon', and when i would pick brian up from overnights at the spur, way back when, i loved listening to 'the writer's almanac', to hear a couple of poems. and that's what it is, the poems.

one night when klaus was so very new, i settled into our bed with him curled up on me. i read 'good poems' to him, one after another, me crying and him snoozing like a kitten. the way we were separated had been so distressing, and that night was one of the early reconnecting sort of home therapy sessions. now he's so big, and he spends almost all of his day wandering a little farther and doing something a little more daring than he did the day before. i'm glad he still wants to curl up with me every night and be my sleepy little baby again.

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5.25.2006


klaus said his first word today (twice!). i am very grateful to him for doing it on my lunch hour. he is so considerate. anyway, he turned and looked at brian and said "dada" . . . and then he did it again a few minutes later! it was like he wanted to prove to us that it really was intentional. i'm surprised he didn't add "boo-ya" after the second one.

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klaus eats everything now. peaches, cheese, toast, green beans - the sissy version of whatever we're eating. however, this does not stop him from getting his fill of mama milk 7 or 8 times a day.

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we generally let klaus roam free, but there are certain times every day when we have to put him in the play pen for safety (like when we take the doggie out). he doesn't mind though. he's very good at amusing himself.

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klaus decided to stick with army crawling. the going-up-on-all-fours wasn't an attempt to crawl "correctly" - he was just working on going from his tummy to sitting up. that way, when i put him down on his tummy in his crib to go to sleep, he can pop up to sitting, smile and clap his hands. like, "see, mama? i'm not tired. i'm ready to play."

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